that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
