i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
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This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
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We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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