so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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