can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
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