oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
