Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
