He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Found your dick twin last night
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
