I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just had sex on a roof
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize