Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
