I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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