I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
