he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
