Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
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