Don't you send me to vm
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
