Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
