Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
