So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
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when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
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I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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