you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
