yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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