he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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