But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
