He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
