drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!