you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.