Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I CAN MOONWALK!
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.