Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol