just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
