I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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