It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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