u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
