I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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