I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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