I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize