Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
