that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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