Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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