Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
