She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize