Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
