Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
she peed on how many people?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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