remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize