I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
