My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
