I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
