don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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