Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize