I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
