My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
