I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize