have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
