I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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