drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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