He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I love having hate sex.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Randomize
