my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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