This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I need water and some morals
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
