White coat. Heels.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
