I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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