those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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