I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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