and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
3 2 1 whiskey
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
