The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
