the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Did I show you my penis last night?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
