so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
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I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
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We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize