the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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