Someone shit on the floor
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
