if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
