i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
