I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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