Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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