Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize