My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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