just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
