i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
