I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
