Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
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Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
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I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
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