you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
