If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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