3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
