My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
